Old Josh in: The Cigar

1891

For some odd reason Josh's mind started shifting into a different mode, he was at an old friend's work place, at a party [dreaming, daydreaming, so it seemed]; he always liked a good cigar, just never could afford one, now and then Mr. Charles Hightower gave him one, around Christmas time usually, and he was dead now, died in 1869, twenty-two years ago, it was now 1891; other than that, on special occasions if he had the money, he’d have Silas or Jordon, Jordon in particular, because he worked at the Grocery story in Ozark, buy him one, and today, Molly, Molly Washington Benton, the same person who lived down near Goose Creek, helped him, Josh when he was sick, and worked as a seamstress off and on for the Smiley family, who owned a plantation next to Charles Hightower, asked him if he wanted one, a cigar. He looked at her, in an inquisitive way, said "Yessum, I sho would if-in you have one…" and to his misfortune, it was quite a small stub of a cigar that Molly gave to him, peculiar he thought, but he took it nonetheless. Bewildered somewhat though, if not disturbed, for he had an odd expression on his face, he gave little response back, if any, a shallow of one, saying: "Thanks...!" And went about and lit it.
Then Ms Molly Benton, an old friend the one that mysteriously appeared this evening, appeared you might say out of nowhere, just like that, without a warning, was sitting by him, in his shack, she wanted to try the cigar, check it out also: smoke it that is. But there wasn't much, especially not for both of them, nearly enough for one, and she had already given it to Josh. Plus, there didn't seem to be enough air in the room (this was an unconscious thought perhaps: and of course, you cannot share what you do not possess (he confessed to himself). And if there is a want or need, it is on the beholders side. Nonetheless, he hesitated, and looked stern into her face; her cute and womanly face, a face that didn't age like his, and years have passed, but she looked even younger than he knew her to be, funny he thought,
"I have an idea," she says to Josh (Josh still feeling a bit odd, as if he didn't know something, something he should know, but couldn't put a finger on it),
"…put the end of this cigar Josh into the chimney of your pipe, and then you'll have enough to enjoy of that there cigar (Josh always had a corn cob pipe he carried it along with him, either in his front shirt pocket, or in his jacket pocket, or in his pants pockets, but today he didn’t, and he searched high and low).
The mystic friend, Molly who seemed mystic to him today, looked at him pleased, and just happened to have a pipe on hand—another oddity that struck Josh as being strange, made Old Josh think twice, think that something was peculiar, not right, very wrong, something he should know, but doesn't, and would like to know; in essence, his intuition told him: something was very, very incorrect, in consequence, his lady friend pulled out a pipe, where it came from was, or is also a mystery, Josh thinking he must had blinked his eyes and she had one hidden on her person; fine, at which time Josh put the cigar—what was left of it anyhow—into the barrel of the pipe, and gave it to his Molly, his old girlfriend of sorts, a friend he had known, but again I must add, he could not put his finger on exactly who she was, she looked like Molly, but was ageless, perhaps was Molly, then he got thinking maybe it was really Sweet Pea, his ex wife in disguise, or even perhaps Nelly’ bell, that pretty young black gal that now owns a bar down in Ozark, he used to walk her down and around Goose Creek, him and Mr. Ritt, the bank owner. So he was in question who she was, really was, her name that is was in question, where they had met was still in question, and when (we of course are thinking of his past, before this moment, or at least Josh is), he is searching for that moment when they had previously met, but does not put too much though into it, he has a crisis on hand, something of a crisis, something he can’t put his finger on. He knows his mind plays tricks on him, he’s 88-years old now: mind tricks, and eye blurs and focusing, is all hard on him nowadays.
At that moment, as the friend, female friend, starts to smoke from the pipe she had given to Josh, now she has it, he starts to choke, he is spitting up something, his mind says, it is spitting up tobacco, pieces of the cigar, blood, something, like her she is doing the same, he can’t put a finger on what he is spitting up: in addition, his throat is burning, a fatal burning sensation (actually, Josh is feeling the same as his friend, another oddity he tells himself: how can they both be feeling the same anguish at the same time, at the same place over the same thing?). The best he can come up with, in helping his friend was to tell her, what he did tell her:
"Ah...here, here take some water, swallow it quickly—hold up your head, higher, higher, quickly, to cool the throat, lift your feet up (they are heavy feet, he sees this, his shoes are very, very heavy, and so are her’s) we can put the flame out, the water will put out the flame, swallow…" he’s trying to save her, and the friend did as he asked; moreover all was well for the moment.

Now, Josh walked away from the table, and its festivities, finding himself by the store next to the Jordon’s story, grocery store in Ozark, Alabama, there is another store next to it, one owned by a black man named White Magic, but he thought he was dead long ago, but the store is open, and he looking inside the store, sees cigars for sale, behind the register, also in the window, big cigars, and a selection, cigars everyplace, now he thinks: '...why didn't Molly tell me they had big cigars here, and a choice, instead of the little one, the end of a cigar she gave me, the stub?" thinking of course, it would have possibly solved the difficulty with him sharing that stub of a cigar she had given him, and not caused his and her coughing. (he noticed his feet, and her feet were no longer heavy, he smiled at her, said, ‘I told yaw so, got to lift those feet up Molly…!’

'Peculiar,' he tells himself, very odd indeed, yet it is left at that, the feet, the cigar. Then the old man shook his head, told himself to stop day dreaming, rescue himself, swim to the boat, it had tipped over in the river while he was fishing, and must had been unconscious, kind of, I mean, he felt he was pushed into the Great Food that was in progress at this very moment, down along the river, down near the deep part of Goose Creek, which led into river, he had gone into the river, as it rained, and rained and rained, and something accidentally hit him, and he fell overboard.
As Josh found himself opening up his eyes, he was also spitting out water, he saw Silas was there, in the boat, Silas explained to Josh, of what he could understand anyway: that he, Josh had been pushed down into the river by the storm (it was still raining as Silas was talking, and rowing over to the bank of the river at the same time, explaining to Josh that he had been pushed overboard into the river’s deeper part, the boat was hit by a cockatiel and he fell over board, which evidently even surprised the reptile, because Silas saw it from the bank of the river, and swam out to the boat, turned it back upside right, and the cockatiel headed down river, as if he had simply, and just bumped into a log.
He had been drowning, sinking, in the River, and caught in the mud, it all was but a few minutes, falling down to its muddy and rocky bottom—and he, Josh, was pulled out of the mud by Silas, and somewhere in-between all this, he, Josh had mentally let go for a moment and had a episodic dream; now above water, his mind reactivated, he said, “I need son to git on home, put some of that there moonshine in me, warm these old bones up; and yous know, that big fish, he lucky he did not eat me, cuz I is like leather, and he jes’ has to spit me back out.” Silas wanted to laugh, but it was hard, he just put his arms around his pa, and held him tight.